


Whatever And Ever, Amen

by susiephalange



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Ben Folds Five - Freeform, Depressed!Charles, Multi, Song Lyrics, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), gender neutral!reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:23:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susiephalange/pseuds/susiephalange
Summary: Reader works alongside Hank trying their best to support Professor Xavier after all the mutants had been drafted to Vietnam.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this hella ages ago, and totally forgot to post it to this site? Anyways, it's a songfic from when I was big into Ben Folds Five. I hope you all enjoy!

_Do you not hear me anymore_

_I know it's not your thing_

_To care_

_I know it's cool to be so bored_

_But it sucks me in when you're aloof_

_It sucks me in, it sucks it works_

_I guess it's cool to be alone_

 

It's been years since you've gotten a word in with  Charles that wasn't made to make you feel like you're another pair of hands and feet to wait on him. The war in Vietnam had taken all of those eligible young students who could work in the line of fire. You knew as soon as their telegrams came, there was no return for them. Hank McCoy, or, Beast, as they called him now, wasn't conscripted, for some reason, and neither you. Ever since your Mother and Father found out you could move natural materials without a thought, they'd not wanted you to come home; afraid of you. And now, you were stuck in a place where they neither wanted nor needed you for anything about you but because you could help keep the Professor standing on two feet.

 

_Will you never rest_

_Fighting the battle of who_

_Could care less_

_Every day you wake up late_

_Sometimes I wish I was_

_That way_

 

But that's the irony. If he stood, he thought soap bubbles of thoughts, drank until his memories of a world where he taught young mutants to love themselves and grow into their differences were blurs, like a hand wiping over a foggy window after a shower. If he sat, he couldn't be 'normal' - something he detested, before, when Erik and Raven were around. But also, he could hear it all, all the pain and suffering, all the voices in his head he was gifted to hear, but couldn't bear the burden of. 

As much as it hurt Charles, though, you and Hank were left in pieces that you couldn't afford to pick up. You wanted to be numb, but you couldn't let that overcome you. You had to be strong. For Charles, for Hank. For students who might return to see what you three had done to the place. For yourself. 

 

_And you think Rockford Files_

_I_ _s cool_

_But there are some things_

_T_ _hat you would change_

_If it were up to you_

_So think about your masterpiece_

_Watch the Rockford Files and_

_Call to see if Paul can score_

_Some weed_

 

Sometimes Charles would call you to his room, and just have you sit there and watch him. It's a strange request, but it's one you understand. He can't stand being alone. You can't imagine how hard it would be to have it all - a team of skilled people you trust, a friend you believe in, legs, a war you can see a way around - all lost. Gone in a matter of minutes, replaced with a numbness that he craves. You just can't imagine it. 

While sitting in silence one time, you can't help but wonder, if Charles could go back in time, that he'd change what happened on the beach in Cuba. And if that's what Charles is seeing every time he closes his eyes, his dosage wanes, his thoughts stray from the safe path he's made that won't trigger the bursts of anger and unpredictability that follow drinking to forget.

 

_Will you never rest_

_Fighting the battle_

_Of who could care less_

_Unearned unhappiness_

_That's alright I guess_

 

Hank pretends not to see. You can't help it but see too much. Some nights, when Charles is tucked in his sheets, eyes wide and mind buzzing not with other voices but his own, you too stay awake, unable to sleep when he cannot. You find you can't eat when he cannot. Move when he cannot. 

It leads to Hank finding you at the bottom of the staircase, wound up in a cocoon of earth and dirt your mutation summoned from the foundations under the house. You're unable to apologize, because now Hank has two adults to take care of, and he can't even take care of himself sometimes. 

But you get better. And he gets better. 

But Charles doesn't.

 

_I've got this great idea_

_Why don't we pitch into the_

_Franklin f**king mint_

_Fine pewter portraits of_

_General apathy and major boredom singing. . ._

_Whatever and ever amen._

 

There's a knock at the door. You beat Hank, rushing to the front to see who it could be, coming to the old mansion. Loan Sharks? Politicians? Real Estate investors? 

But it isn't any of those. He's tall, and scruffy looking, like he's drunk and slept as much  as Charles has lately, except, he's chosen that fate, not been wrought with night terrors until he can't bear it anymore. And suddenly, he's pushed past you and into the house, your mutation doing nothing to hold him back. 

Hank's changed into who he's supposed to be; Beast is all over the man, and they're fighting, they're punching and rolling and they're -

"Hank, _______, what's going on here?"

They continue to fight, speaking words that don't matter, are as useful as empty air. 

"...Get off the bloody chandelier, Hank!" 

 

_Oh well maybe not try_

_Again_

_This should cheer you up_

_For sure_

_See I've got your old I.D._

_And you're all dressed up like_

_The cure_

 

His name is Logan, you hear, and he's from the future. And Charles' future self has a mission for them all. You can't help but wonder, what's going to happen from here? Will he get better? Worse? Who will fall in the line of duty, both overseas or at home? They've made plans to leave now, to find a young mutant who lives life faster than anyone, a kid who can help break out the one person Charles doesn't much want to see. Who made his life a little hell. 

But it's still a way to get him out of the house. To breathe life back into his eyes, to wring the apathy from his voice. 

 

_Will you never rest_

_Fighting the battle_

_Of who could care less_

_Unearned unhappiness_

_You're my hero I confess_

 

In the car, Charles puts his hand down. He thought it was his leg, but it isn't. Its your knee, and he's stroking the skin slowly. Shocked, the both of you turn to each other, not worried about the contact. You lean your head on his shoulder, feeling every bump in the road with him. It's been a while since he's looked awake when he is, and now, you can see the greatness returning to Charles Xavier. 

Maybe something good could come from the future-man intercepting your lives.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests, find me on Tumblr at @susiephalange, or [@phalangewrites](https://phalangewrites.tumblr.com/request_conditions) ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ✿


End file.
